Going Back in Time

No pictures, just me using this blog I've started as an outlet to deal with thoughts about things that don't come easy to share by mouth. Over the last couple of days, I have heard that my aunt, who is my mom's sister, is nearing the end of a long journey. She has spent the last five years of her life fighting cancer. She is a strong woman, she never wanted to seem weak or seem as if she wanted or needed any help with her fight. Now, as I type, she lays in her bed, no longer able to walk, to feed herself, and her mind comes and goes. The cancer that started in her breast has now taken over her brain and her liver, and now her family waits.... and prays. As I think about what her family is going/will go through, I feel as if I am going back in time to May 11, 1993, when I stood in their shoes and went through the same thing with my mother. The feelings start to come back and I remember the incredible feelings of despair I had at the thought of my mom not being there to share my life with, I remember crawling up in the bed with her, holding her hand, telling her it was okay to go and that I loved her. Perhaps what I hang on to and cherish most is hearing her say with little strength that she loved me too. I missed her the moment she was gone, in spite of that fact, I wouldn't bring her back for anything. You see, she had fought her battle, had been through so much and was ready to go and be with Jesus, she had a wonderful peace and said she was ready to go home. I miss her each and everyday, I wish she could have known her grandchildren and they couldv'e known her. There have been so many questions that I wish she were here to answer for me, so many moments I wish she were here to share with. The Lord had bigger plans for her, so knowing that, I can face each day with peace, the peace that comes from knowing that one day, I will see her again. That peace and God's grace is sufficient enough for me. My prayers now turn to my aunt and her family. I pray that the Lord will not allow her to suffer and that her family knows the Lord and will find peace , the same peace that sustained me through the moments that they are facing now. If you know the Lord, I ask that you join me in praying for her and her family at this time. If you don't know the Lord, you need to. He is the only way to have true peace in your life. He died so that when you face what my mother faced and her sister are facing you can die with peace knowing that you will join Him in Heaven.

He died for you on a cross so you could do just that.

Take the Romans Road to salvation
Who is good? ~Romans 3:10~ As it is written, There is none righteous, no,not one.

Who has sinned? ~Romans 3:23~ For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.

Where sin came from. ~Romans 5:12~ Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world,

and death by sin,and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.

God's price of sin. ~Romans 6:23~ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is

eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Who paid The price? ~Romans 5:8~ God commendeth his love toward us,

in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

The only way out. ~Romans 10:9-10~ That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth,

the Lord Jesus,and shalt believe in thine heart

God hath raised him from the dead thou shalt be saved.

For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness;

and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

For the scripture saith, whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.

Take God at his word and claim His promise for your salvation.

It just takes believing and saying this simple prayer

My Lord and my God, have mercy upon my soul, a sinner.
I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God and that

He died on the cross and shed His blood for the forgiveness of my sins.

I believe Jesus rose again from the dead by the power of the

Holy Ghost and sits on the right hand of God.
Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and wash all my

sins away with Your blood.
I invite you into my heart as my personal Savior,

and will follow you the rest of my life.
Your Word says you'll turn no one away, and that includes me.

Therefore, I know you've heard me,

and I know you've answered me,

and I know I'm saved.
Thank you, Jesus, for saving my soul.

If my mom could speak to me now, I believe her words

would be close to the lyrics of the song you'll hear below.

The guy shown on the video is the person who recorded the song.

Don't pay attention to the photo, just listen to the words.

I love you Mom.

Walking for Ella

I warn you in advance, this is a lengthy one!

We have now turned the corner it's almost March, less than two months to go. I hope that everyone is doing well and preparing for the walk. I have been doing the treadmill thing, but I haven't yet made it to the three mile mark. Actually, that may never happen, after a mile and a half my children have looked at me horrified as I walk pouring with sweat and suggested I sit down. If I didn't know better, I might think they are implying that I, in my old age, might be over doing it!! I must warn you, if the runs on the treadmill are any indication, on April 19, it may be pretty ugly before those three miles are finished!

Seriously though, the walk is something that stays on my mind. I have read and watched so many stories, and have seen and heard about people just like us, who have made such a difference.

Following story is from one of those people.

'Enthusiasm Became Contagious'

My name is Amy Capobianco-Diaz, team captain of team “Matthew's Miracles”. Let me tell you my story. When my son, Matthew was diagnosed on the spectrum in 2004, I was completely devastated, a feeling that we've all shared at one time or another. I have to admit, I knew very little of autism. I only knew of one other child who was diagnosed. I had no idea how that number would change for me. I spent a good portion of that year in a fog. At the end of the year, when the fog started to lift, the feeling of devastation was replaced with anger and frustration. Anger because too many children were being diagnosed and frustration because there was no cure. I remembered seeing a “Walk Far for NAAR” poster the previous year and decided I'd check out what NAAR was. I was always the shy type. Not the go-getter, business-type. When I went on the NAAR web site and saw all the teams, I was pretty intimidated. I saw the amounts being raised by teams like Scarsdale Child and Team Ardsley and thought, “Who am I?” I have no great contacts to raise that kind of money”. I started to second-guess myself. I also started to read the stories written by either team captains or team members. Then something happened. I read a story of team “Loving Levi”. It was from the perspective of Levi's sister. She was asking people to walk with Levi, her and her family for Levi. The thing was that she was asking for us to celebrate their birthdays on the day of the walk. I cried the remainder of that night. How unfair is it for a child to spend a birthday walking to find a cure for himself or for a little girl to ask such a selfless, mature question? This was just the push I needed to make a difference. It didn't matter if I couldn't raise thousands, but it did matter that I played a part in something so important. I signed up my husband, my 2 boys and myself and set my goal at $500 and hoped I could reach it. I typed out Matthew's story through tears and exposed every painful moment about Matthew's decline since he had turned 19 months, the endless therapies and our devastation, and pinned it to the bulletin boards in the two buildings of the co-op that we live in. I had never done anything so bold that it frightened me.The response was overwhelming. Most people were not aware of Matthew's diagnosis and the majority had no idea what autism was. We had been living there for 4 years, but knew only a small circle of people. Now, everyone knew us. Not only did they donate, but they wanted to know all about autism. I was making a difference. People started to volunteer to walk—neighbors, family and friends. The team grew larger as my enthusiasm became contagious. I took the advice of the website and made t-shirts. We were officially a team! We started to brainstorm on ideas of how to raise more money. One team member, a man whom I said, “hello” to in passing prior to this, turned out to be a contractor for the businesses in my town. A store had gone out of business so he put Matthew's story in the window. More donations came. The great and lucky thing was that a reporter from The Westchester Journal News happened to walk by and saw the story and the information about the walk. The next thing we knew, he and a camera man were sitting in my living room, interviewing us about Matthew, autism, NAAR and the walk. Our article brought in more unexpected donations. At this point, I started to come out of my shell. I figured, “if the Girl Scouts could sit and sell cookies in front of the local supermarket, I could ask for donations”. Team members brought the donation sheets to work. We all asked family and friends for their support. My mother even got her church in Massachusetts to hand out 600 copies of Matthew's story one weekend. Team members were asking everyone from their dry cleaners to the man who sells them the morning paper. We were all making a difference! By the time the walk came around, I was so pumped up. Then I pulled up to Manhattanville College. I was so overwhelmed and intimidated by the amount of people. Everyone was hugging each other, laughing and having a great time, and I realized that, I didn't know anyone! So many people seemed to know each other. I felt like a complete stranger. But autism and the teams that day had something in common. They say autism consists of all different kinds of people, regardless of ethnicity, color or socio-economic background. And that is what I found at the walk. Everyone there was different, yet we all had something in common. Everyone was walking for a cure for autism. Everyone fit in, even shy little me. I walked in as a stranger, but I left not only having made new friends, but family. We were and are all in it together. By the time it was all said and done, our team of 4 turned into 35, and our goal of $500 turned into $8500. Whether you are walking for your own loved one or someone else's, you can make a difference.

This woman may have been walking for a different/larger autism organization, but that was not what made the difference. It was her willingness to step out of her box and get involved,

and what a difference she made in people's lives by doing so. In the next couple of weeks, I challenge you to see what you can do.

Our team has already raised approximately

$1400.00

from people who have signed up to walk or sponsored someone.

My goal is to see how far we can take that number.

My challenge to you, as a member of the Walking for Ella team, is to get donations from 2-3 people. If 40 people, get 2,$20.00 donations, we could double our team total. That would be a remarkable thing that could make a remarkable difference for this organization and the families it supports.

As you know, I have said I wanted to put together a t-shirt for the team.

I have come up with a design idea and as soon as everyone who wants one lets me know,

I will get them ordered. I have to know by March 1 if you want to order one. If you have already contacted me about this, there is no need to again. They will come in youth sizes as well. The size range will go rom a childs size XS (2-4) to an adults size XXL. I am posting a picture of an idea I am working on for the t-shirt. They are blurry but they at least give you an idea of what I am trying to do.

Back of the Shirt

Front of the shirt
due to the resolution is is hard to read but it has

the puzzle piece autism ribbon logo over

Beyond the Limits

Walk for Autism

2008

I wanted to let you know that what we are doing in this little county has caught the attention of the Beyond the Limits founder. I was recently emailed and asked if a link to my blog could be posted on their website under the friends tab and if I would allow them to post Ella's slideshow, with people from Houston County holding up signs saying they are walking, on the site for them to use as a way to inspire others to get involved. Though I am having trouble with finding a way for my slideshow software to allow them to post this on their website, I hope to get it figured out soon.

I know that this has been very lengthy but I wanted to share some things that have provided inspiration for me to do this, in the hopes that they will do the same for you.

I will leave you with one last thing,

something that reinforces my belief that God can and will use Ella to do to great things.

This is a story about

Hope.

Watch Out, Shaquille O'Neal!!

Watch out is right!

Here comes

Blake "the Snake" Conwell,

he's smooth, he's slippery, he's quick!

He will probably kill me for the above comment,

but I wouldn't be a real mom if I didn't humiliate my kids every once in a while!

We couldn't be prouder of him.

He has chosen to play winter league ball this year and he is loving it.

His little legs have proven to come in handy,

he is pretty quick and has stolen quite a few balls already this year.

Of course, Mom is always proud and I never cease to embarrass Alex

with my screaming at games!

Dad is equally proud. Granted, he isn't the screamer I am, but he gets excited none the less.

He gets to relive the good ole' days when bad knees were not part of his life.

Blake,

Regardless how many points you score, and how many balls you steal,

I want you to know we love you and are very proud of you.

Now, GO GET EM'!!!

love, Mom

Long Time, No Post

Whew!! It has been a while since I visited this place. My computer problems continue, I really need to send this laptop back to be serviced but I am starting to realize how much of my life is recorded on this thing!! I am on line for now though, so I am going to make the most of it.

First of all, I hope that everyone had a wonderful Valentines Day. We chose to keep it low key and that was fine with me. I did try to do a little something for my husband. Usually, he asks for nothing, wants nothing, and I am the one who gets treated to a special day. I thought I would just take a minute to let him know how special he is to me. Sometimes you don't have to spend money to make someone feel special, you just have to take the time. We've been together for almost 17 years (wow, that's hard to believe) and it is hard to come up with something new and different but from his reaction, I think this time, I got it right.

I make slideshows all the time, but this is the first time I have had the option to load to You Tube. I have been unable thus far to post a show on my blog, a new option on my slideshow program now allows me to do that. It is a bit blurry viewed this way, but until I figure out another way to do it, this will be the way to go.

Happy Valentines Day!

When all else fails.....Pray

Well, it is nice to be posting again. I haven't been able to post much due to the fact that my laptop hasn't been in use. My charger finally bit the dust and we have been without one, until today. I never realized how much I enjoyed modern technology until I was without it for a couple of days!!!

I hope that everyone is safe and sound after the round of tornadoes that ran through our area last night. We managed all right here, all I can say is thank God for prayer. As is custom when things like major storms, major illnesses, major anything happens in our house, Jimmy was working nights. As I began to hear of the damage that some of the storms had left in their path, I began to worry about how the night would go with it being just me home with the kids. Tornado warnings started ringing out for Houston County and down to the basement we headed. Though the younger kids were oblivious to the whole ordeal, the older two were pretty much scared to death. Especially Blake, who for years has had a tremendous fear of storms. What do you do?

Well, I'll tell you what I do....

.

.

PRAY

Prayer...it is amazing what peace it can bring to you... to your children when the unknown is circling around you. So...that it what we did, and as I sat crouched in front of the tv in the basement waiting for the ok to return upstairs, the kids found peace and soon fell to sleep. That's what prayer and faith in God will do for you. I hope that everyone who reads this had that kind of peace last night, on nights like that, it's really all you need.

My thoughts and prayers are with those who were injured or who lost family members last night.

.

.

Just know....

God's grace IS sufficient.

Making a difference for The Children of the World

This song came to mind when I posted my message about Walking for Ella a couple of nights ago. I attempted to get it to play on my blog but couldn't get it to work fully. Well, tonight, I visited YouTube and found a video of Amy Grant performing the song "Children of the World" at a Dove Awards show back in 1997 or so. The song and the look of the video may seem dated but the message still rings true.

Though Ella is our reason we are walking, walking for her also helps to bring awareness and support for all the other children with Autism around the world.

I hope you find the song as inspiring as I do.

God Bless!

Click on the play button twice to listen.